Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Annie Lennox

I'm a huge fan of hers... since like 5th grade. Incase you arent as cool as me to know who Annie Lennox is.. she used to be the singer for Eurythmics. You know "sweet dreams are made of these"... "here comes the rain again".

Anyway, she has a new album coming out on October 1st. I'm very excited. Half because its annie, and half because its the day before our first dr's visit and ultrasound... so something else to think about.

I'm home today recovering from a silly little cold Mat so generously passed on to me. Since I'm a sad vision in unwashed hair, and rumpled tanktop... with piles of kleenex around me I thought I would cheer myself up with some good ole music.. and what the heck? why not share it with you!

This is my absolute favorite song of hers.. plus the video makes me laugh everytime I see it. She's also pregnant in it.. so fitting. I think she is so pretty as a brunette.. during her DIVA, and MEDUSA albums..

Her new album is Songs of Mass Destruction.

Next week I will obviously have more baby news, but for now I'm still feeling fine (no nausea) and I'm sure I'll get over this cold in no time. And you can bet your bottom dollar I will share any and ALL good news we get from the ultrasound. Till then.. enjoy Annie!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Well here we are again...

whew... I honestly thought this day would be much farther away than now. I had come to terms with the fact that I was on God's time.. as much as i hated it and complained about it.. thats the way it was. I had given up.

Problem is, I think I gave up because I was done asking pleading and begging. Now that it has happened I feel like I should automatically be joyful and happy and thankful.. all the good christian things your supposed to...but I'm not.

I'm freaked out. I'm scared how much I want and need this baby. I'm sad because I didnt think about David or Isaac for a few days because I was so thankful I didnt have to be mad or sad forever. I took a test on sunday and didnt realize till monday night that I hadnt even thanked God for this new baby. I'm definately learning a lot about God. Probably since February/March I've started (finally) being honest about my feelings. Its not that I couldnt, I just wasnt feeling a whole lot of anything for a while... I think I just shut off for a while.. I'm glad I did.. its too much all at once.

I'm not afraid to let people know its ok to feel what your feeling. Your Allowed. Its like that new Martina McBride song: God is Great but sometimes Life Aint good... amen sista.

I'll be frank I think the thing thats bugging me today is that I havent really talked to God that much since I had that positive test. And I think the reason is, in my heart I feel like God is going to do whatever the hell he wants to do... and I'm tired of being dissapointed.

There it is...

You know though.. if this baby is sick, I'd do it again. Its worth it.

You know whats funny.. I've actually had moments that I've been nervous that I ACTUALLY am bringing a baby home this time! HA!! isnt that funny? hehe I think it is... How about we talk about some good stuff eh?

I've been thinking ALOT about last time I was pregnant... trying to remember March or April of 2006... I feel the same (physically). Its funny how much I forgot till I'm feeling it again. Like I sleep all the time.. I can't help it.. I sit still too long and it happens. I'm wicked thursty, and I'm hungry ALL the time. Its pretty awesome, but my vanity has kept me from checking my scale hehehe. Last night was the first night I felt sort of ill. But I had bought these "Ginger thins" at the CVS a few days ago .. anticipating morning sickness.. so I had a few of those and I they actually made me feel better.

Mat is so funny. Ladies I must tell you, you missed out on this guy.. he is just plain gushy when it come to me having his baby. The second he saw that positive test it was like a light switch came on and he was so sweet and considerate.. man I should be pregnant all the time! I think he needed a new baby as much as I did. I think we all did. Everyone involved in David and Isaac's little lives.. we all needed some good news.

It has been SO FUN seeing everyones reactions when we spread the word that we were pregnant.. we had the best answering machine messages and emails.. I think thats why I wanted to start this blog.. an easy way to share GOOD news. I'm claiming it.. IN JESUS name there will be GOOD news to share this time! WAHOO. Ok I cant promise there wont be more sad posts.. its all a process.. but I certainly see the light at the end of this tunnel and I hope it starts to blind me its so bright!

I know God is holding my hand through all this.. I just need to get over myself and start trusting him fully.. it will take a little while.. but I have no doubt it will happen.

Thank you for listening to me ramble out my feelings. We'll see ya next time.