I smelt my own FART!

oh yes.. this week was a crazy one.

First off most of you know I cant smell. Occasionally I have what I describe as "my nose suddenly turns on for a moment". Well lately and VERY specifically this week I have been able to smell a few things more often. For instance.. Mat was brushing his teeth, and I walked by the bathroom and instantly I could smell mint! I realized it was from Mat.. COOL!.. well this smelling this isnt all its cracked up to be. I was cooking and freaked a little when I kept smelling something that was "weird" and I asked Mat to come in and smell everything... he said did you turn on the gas burner? and I said yes.. he said I just smell a little left over gas.. its normal. Yikes.. and then last night.. I had gone to the gym earlier that day and realized i hadnt stretched and my legs were starting to cinch up on me.. so I was on the living room floor stretching like a good pregnant lady.. and yes like a pregnant lady I had to pass my gas.. lately there isnt much room for anything but my guts and Kenron. It took me a split second.. and I thought to myself, "gosh I'm smelling gas again... no wait this is like rancid gas... what the heck am I smelling?" ... "oh my gosh I just farted..." "I SMELT MY OWN FART!".. (mat from the other room) WHAT? .. "I SMELT MY OWN FART!!" ... no reaction .. hehehehehehe

I appologize to any and all who have had to suffer my stink. I only feel like I should appologize because 99% of the time I cant smell yours.

The other lovely part of this week was a melt-down. I had a total complete mental/emotional melt down. I knew it would happen, it happened last time, but this time I felt guilty about it because I felt like I had nothing to be worried about. But that day I did. It was Mat's last day of vacation, and to me it felt like the LAST DAY EVER I WOULD HAVE MAT WITHOUT A BABY... so I tried to see if he wanted to do something.. go to a movie.. rent a movie.. go out to lunch? nothing.. well that was a the straw that broke the camels back.. I was crying, but i was mad because I "thought" mat was being a jerk.. (he wasnt by the way)... and then I was crying uncontrolably.. I couldnt stop. and suddenly I realized what was wrong. I had been trying SO HARD not to feel overwhelmed with having a baby.. but I was. I mean in my mind I should be elated.. OVERJOYED that this baby was coming right? I mean I just lost two.. and only one is here.. thats not a big deal.. right? well no its not a big deal.. but when I felt guilty for feeling a little overwhelmed I've been swallowing it and not dealing with it.. well like I said there isnt much room for anything inside except me and Kenron so out came the emotions. Mat came in the room and hugged me for a while.. and let me just tell him all the things I was feeling.. and I told him I wasnt mad at him.. just having a bad day. Then he said the most loving thing... " I think your normal" :) hehe.

So that was fine.. I'm ok now and I'm sure I will still have moments of being scared.. but like Mat said, (and I already knew) its normal to be scared. I'm just not going to feel guilty about it anymore.

Ok so despite all that, there has been a wonderful silver lining to the end of this week:

AWESOME.